Day eleven

A picture of me recently.

This is the only picture I've taken of me recently. :) My taryn marie. My squishy bear. 

Day ten

A picture of you more than ten years ago. 

This was taken way more than ten years ago!

Day nine

A picture I took.

I've taken lots of pictures, but this one might be the most beautiful ever.

Day eight

A picture that makes me sad.

My babies are growing up :( I love them SOOOOO much!!



Day seven

A picture that makes me smile.

This is Kameron. This picture makes me happy. He's going to be such a tiny gentleman.



Day six

20 of my favorite things.

Reading. I love how it takes me to different times and places.

Being an aunt is one of my absolute favorite things! It is possibly the most important thing to me, being a great aunt. I love every single one of these babies with my whole heart. They complete me.

I love this game. Don't judge me. I play, and I kick ass. 

Stumbleupon.com! It will consume you. <3

Sushi. I freaking love it. I will try any sushi twice. Although, I can't bring myself to eat octopus.

Anything parisian. I will go here someday.

Hello Kitty, everything! I love this cute ass little kitten. I intend to make it theme for my daughter one day. :) 

Greek Mythology. I love it! I want to study it all! I especially love the percy jackson series! 

I could play for hours and hours! 

Baking! Cuppycakes are my favorite!

Spending time with the man of my dreams. I'm such a lucky girl.

Hyperbole & a Half I freaking LOVE this blog. It cracks me up!

Avocados/Guacomole. It doesn't really matter to me. I can eat one whole and by itself or mash it up into amazingness. Either way, I want it in my mouth. (a nice intro to my next favorite thing)

That's what she said jokes.

Coke. Oh, how I loveth the soda! My day is not complete with out it. I get withdrawls like a crack addict. Not cool.

Rainbows. Oh how I adore them. EVERYTHING is prettier when it is the colors of the rainbow.

My unicorn pillow pet. I've named her Penelope Sunshine. I love her! Don't judge me. 

Glitter. What girl doesn't?

Chocolate milk! I recently discovered I am lactose intolerant though so I can't really have it as much as I would like to have it. 

Blogging. I love it. I love having the freedom to talk about what I want whenever I want for as long as I want, and not having to listen to anyoen else talk about them, themselves, or their problems. You call it selfish, I call it therapy. 

Guess Who, Giggles, the Royal Wedding, and Lots of Pain

We went to church today again. Thats two whole weeks in a row. Go us. Jackie also came down yesterday and stayed the night with me so she could come to church with us today. It was nice, even though we only got four hours of sleep.We stayed up till five thirty playing Guess Who and giggling. Church was also very nice, even though I was sleepy. I feel content when I'm there. Lately I've felt so stressed, and bad, and almost actually depressed. Its nice to not even think about anything else than how much some one loves me. Yes, I mean Jesus, no, I'm not going to get preachy on you. Tony and Kandace were there today! I love spending any time I can get with them. They remind me of who I used to be. They remember me like that I think. They're like my big brother and sister. I love them so much. It helps that they love me too. They always want to know how I am and whats going on in my life, and about all my plans. So I spent a long time talking about our wedding plans with them today. :) I've also set up our counseling session with Tony. I can't wait to have that talk with Jeffrey and Tony. I want to connect with Jeffrey on that level. I think Tony will be a good liason for that. I'm also very excited about weddings in general today. I talked about it with Tony and Kandace this morning (who seem just as excited as me) and then mom and I watched all kinds of royal wedding things all day on t.v. I'm SOO excited for the royal wedding. I'm trying to decide which channel I should watch it from. There are so many choices!! I absolutely can NOT wait to see her dress. Its like a real life fairytale, and I feel like I know them! I'm not dillusional and believe that I do or anything, but I'm excited that I'm old enough and aware enough to be apart of this moment in history. Jeffrey isn't as enthusiastic and is pretty upset that his whole friday is planned around the celebrations! lol. Anyways... I'm SOOO sore. My right shoulder has been KILLING me for the past two weeks for some mysterious reason. It totally doesn't help that yesterday while I was waiting for Jackie to come I was cleaning and I fell down the stairs, which freaking hurt! When I fell I broke a glass and gashed my right hand ring finger which nearly bled me to death. Then I went outside to get mom's chemicals from her truck and the wind blew the umbrella and it's stand down and it cut my leg! After that I went upstaris to make my bed and I broke my freaking nail! I got beat up yesterday! :( Today I cut my foot open on the side of my bed. I just need to sleep for a few days and try life again later. I'm off to watch more royal wedding things babies!

Day five

My favorite quote.

This has always been so comforting to me.

Growing up is never straightforward. There are moments when everything is fine, and other moments where you realize that there are certain memories that you’ll never get back and certain people that are going to change. And the hardest part is knowing that there is nothing you can do except watch them.

I like not being a double zero in jeans unnaturally; skeletons just aren’t my thing. So what if I jiggle a bit, confidence will give me all the happiness I need. It’s okay if I’m not the hottest girl around, as long as I have a decent personality, I’ll be fine. I’ve lived, I’ve laughed, I’ve loved. Maybe not in the ways people would appreciate, but it’s been more than enough for me.

I have always had this tendency to assume that change, when it happens, can only be for the worse you know? And lately, I kinda feel like that's not true. Like, whatever's waiting for me out there may not be that bad.

I believe in karma. what you give is what you get. i think you can't appreciate real love, until you've been broken. i believe the grass is greener on the other side. i believe you don't feel peoples pain until you've been burned yourself. you don't know what you've got... until it all has been lost.

A girl can't have just one favorite anything, don't you know? 

Day four

My favorite book.

I've read some really really really  good books. According to my good reads account I've read 90 of them. (that I can remember.) I honestly can't decide. My gut is telling me it's between these two. It might vary if you ask me a different day though.

Sometimes I wish my life were an 80s movie.

I wanted John Cusack holding a boombox outside of my window. I wanted to ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I wanted Jake to be waiting outside of the church for ME. I wanted Judd Nelson throwing his fist into the air when he realized he had me. Instead I got a man who shares his life with me, who lends me his family, who gave me his whole heart. A man that tought me how to own at halo, (lol!) who made me have a star wars marathon, who turned me into a complete and total geek. A man that is perfect for me, my soul mate, someone who I will never have to doubt. My life is so much better because of him. Sorry I've been leaving you guys with just the 30 day challenge stuff, I promise not to make you guys live on that for the next month. I just didn't trust myself to write a blog two days ago that wasn't ugly, and one yesterday that wasn't telling things I'm not allowed to tell yet. :) I'll explain soon. Not allowed to yet though. Today was fun, Jeffrey my mom and I made two mosaics. The first was a memory stone for vegas. R.I.P baby! She was our old dog. She passed on in the middle of my senior year. The second was a piece for Jeffrey's mom for mother's day. It was really fun. I love getting crafty. I'm not very good at it unless I do it with my mom. I'll never be as creative as her. :( I wish that I were. Nothing else to really talk about. Other than the fact that I've been so down and insecure lately. Cue the worlds smallest violin.. I don't know, I just don't feel pretty, or like I've been getting enough attention lately. From anyone but Jeffrey, I'm his whole world, I know that. I mean like my friends or our families. I sound like I'm five. I know that. Try not to judge me though. I'm just going through an emotional phase. I really have been for about a week and a half. I've been really upset that the world seems like its moving on without me. Everyone is married or having babies, some people are even graduating college. I'm... just hanging out. I mean I'm still doing school, but I'm not doing anything important or awesome.. or making anyone proud. Including myself. We're getting married in six months.. I don't think anyone is excited about that though. Anyone but us. To be fair though we aren't talking about it with his family until its closer. By then Jeffrey will be working. Have I told you guys that? No more primerica. (Thank God!) While it really was a good company, it wasn't for us. I gritted my teeth and pretended it was awesome and stood by Jeffrey, the best I could anyway, while he was sure thats what he wanted to do. But, my prayers have been answered- he is done finally! His brother is opening up his plumbing business again and Jeffrey is goign to work with him. I'm so excited. I don't care if he works at mcdonalds, I just want him to do SOMETHING. I want to be proud of him, and I will be. I can't wait for him to help take care of me. I want to be able to depend on him. I want my mom and kirk to be proud of him. I want everyone to know that we will make it. I want to start with nothing and struggle and build a life out of it. Although I don't care what he does for a living, I am so excited that hes choosing plumbing. It's in his family. They've all been plumbers! There are three companies in the family for crying out loud. He likes it. He's good at it. And lastly, its man's work. Thats a job you can hang your hat on. I feel so much better about our future knowing hes going to do that. Wow, I feel better. Awe, He fixes everything. He's at his house, I'm at mine, and we're not even talking yet, he made me feel better. I love that man. I do not however love the emotional rollercoaster I have been on for about a week and a half. I need medication. Later babies.

Day three

My favorite television program. 

Day two

My favorite movie. 

Pretty woman. Yes, I am aware it makes no sense for a movie about a man falling in love with a prostitute to be so romantic. I also can't help that it just is. Yes, I am also very aware that if you watch it backwards it's about Richard Gere transforming Julia Roberts into a hooker. I like what I like.

30 days :)

BLOG EDITION! Enjoy.

Day 1 - your favorite song
Day 2 - your favorite movie
Day 3 - your favorite television program
Day 4 - your favorite book
Day 5 - your favorite quote
Day 6 - 20 of your favorite things
Day 7 - a photo that makes you happy
Day 8 - a photo that makes you sad
Day 9 - a photo you took
Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you
Day 11 - a photo of your recently
Day 12 - something you are OCD about 
Day 13 - a fictional book
Day 14 - a non-fictional book
Day 15 - your dream house 
Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 - an art piece (drawing, picture, or other)
Day 18 - my wedding/future wedding/past wedding
Day 19 - a talent of yours 
Day 20 - a hobby of yours
Day 21 - a recipe
Day 22 - a website
Day 23 - a youtube video
Day 24 - where I live
Day 25 - your day, in great detail
Day 26 - your week, in great detail
Day 27 - my worst habit
Day 28 - whats in my handbag/purse
Day 29 - hopes,dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 - a dream for the future






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Day one:

Favorite song.

Favorite is such a relative term. Songs, such a vast subject. I'm going to have to break it into catagories. 

My favorite jamming out song:

My favorite country song: 

Tied with:

Favorite Love song:

 Favorite R&B:

Being nice when you don't want to isn't fake, its growing up

Today was so blah. I did nothing. I can not wait to go back to school in august. I really do not enjoy online classes. It wouldn't be so bad if I could take more than one at a time. It might also not be so bad if I had a job to keep me busy. I can't even begin to tell you how utterly useless I feel. I hate not have a purpose everyday. I know putting it like that is pretty dramatic. I honestly feel like it is that urgent though. Everything just feels stagnant and icky lately. I need to get my car in order. Both of my tags are out, I don't have insurance, and I can NOT find my drivers license anywhere! Now I really need a job, and I have no way to go job hunting really. Any friends out there who want to run me around for a whole day? *Crosses fingers. For some ungodly reason I've just felt so emotional today, and finally realized that sometimes you can't tell anybody how you really feel; not because you don't know why, not because you can't trust them - simply because you cannot find the right words to make them understand. There are some instances in life where words are insurmountable and emotion is all you have to depend on. There is a double-edged comfort in knowing that no one really ever knows. I stayed up REALLY late last night even though I was tired at nine fifteen. I was reading my book. Its AMAZING. Even though I've heard from a few people how awful the movie was. Eat, Pray, Love is the name. I still have a little more than a hundred pages. I've been reading it for awhile but it seems like I still have so many pages left. Thats frustrating. Its really interesting though. I've always been really.. whats the word? Impressionable? When I'm reading something, I feel as though I'm the main character and I'm having that experience. I've always been that way. I feel as though I just spent four months in italy, and I am in smack dab in the middle of an elusive ashram in rural india. In a few hours I'm moving on to indonesia. This makes my day a little more interesting. I won't know who I am for a few minutes after I finish the book. But, I have a stack of books waiting. Its always nice to have as many as I want at my disposal. I'm so glad my mom paid my library fine for me. Shes been so sweet lately. Thats all for tonight babies.

Quality, not Quantity

Today was good. REALLY long, but good. I didn't know there were so many daylight hours. We did make it to church this morning. :D It was nice, and Jeffrey really enjoyed it. He agreed to go some more since I want to start to go back. Although that means I have to give his church a go. "/ I guess he deserves the same decency, but I have serious issues with catholicisim. This is my blog, and thats my opinion I don't want any snarky comments about that. Then we sat around and did nothing, but bring raylen to the park. She had so much fun, and she made friends with every kid at the park. I remember how easy it was when we were kids, "I like your shirt." "Thanks, I like your hair, wanna play?" Best friends forever... erm, until their parents haul them off and you have to find someone else to play with. I miss being little. On that note, I'm tired at nine fifteen, so good night babies!

Again with the verbal whiplash

Or is it textual whiplash? You know, since i'm not really SPEAKING, but typing? Anywhoo, Yes, I do realize how long its been since I've done this. It feels foreign to me right now. Lots of things have happened and changed since I last wrote. I'll do my best to fill you in. Where do I begin? I guess with my last post. Things with Shannon have been getting better over time. We're still not best friends, but we are friends I think. Its nice not to have any tension. I didn't need that source of stress anymore. We've changed our minds about wedding plans AGAIN. I know, I can just see you shaking your head on the other side of the screen. Don't judge me. Its a big choice. We both want a ceremony! We have officially decided to marry on the beach of south padre island. We will make sure our immediate family makes it even if we have to pay, Any one else that wants to come can pay for themselves to get there. We will then leave from padre to our honeymoon. We are thinking we want to take a cruise. Probably for like five days, then come home to baytown and have a small reception for everyone who couldn't make it to the ceremony. I like this plan a lot. :D It totally doesn't hurt that this way we get an entire week of wedding-ness. :) I'm still doing school. Le-Sigh. Ugh. Its dragging on, and I'm unhappy doing it. I don't feel like I'm not learning as much as when I went into school. I'm pondering putting school on hold until I get my check and can afford to go back to school. Thoughts? Hmm.. what else? Taryn is turning six months old at the end of the month. I can't even believe it. Shes growing up so fast. Mom says I've lost weight. I can't tell, but if mom thinks you're fat she WILL tell you. I'm hoping shes right. I've been trying a lot lately. I've also seen more of my friends this month than I have in the past year. I like that. I didn't realize how much I missed companionship. I mean I have that in Jeffrey of course, but its different. I'd really like to spend A LOT more time with my friends, so if y'all are reading this, lets make some plans. Free plans albeit, but plans none the less. Jeffrey and I plan on going to my church in the morning. I hope we really do go because I'm excited about that. Its already getting late though so I don't know. Thats all for tonight kids. Hope and pray I can keep this up. :) Later, babies!

I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit

For too long, every ounce of forgiveness I owned was locked away, hidden from view, waiting for me to bestow its precious presence upon some worthy person. Alas, I found most people to be singularly unworthy of my valuable forgiveness, and since they never asked for any, i kept it all for myself. Now, the forgiveness that i hoarded has sprouted inside my heart like a crippled seed yielding bitter fruit.No more! At this moment, my life has taken on new hope and assurance. Of all the world's population, I am one of the few possessors of the secret to dissipating anger and resentment. I now understand that forgiveness has value only when it is given away. By the simple act of granting forgiveness, I release the demons of the past about which I can do nothing, andI create in myself a new heart, a new beginning. I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive even those who do not ask for forgiveness. Many are the times when i have seethed in anger at a word or deed thrown into my life by an unthinking or uncaring person. I have wasted valuable hours imagining revenge or confrontation. Now I see the truth revealed about this psychological rock inside my shoe. The rage I nurture is often one-sidded, for my offender seldom gives thought to his offense! I will now and forevermore silently offer my forgiveness even to those who do not see that they need it. By the act of forgiving, I am no longer consumed by unproductive thoughts. I give up my bitterness. I am content in my soul and effective again with my fellowman. I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive those who criticize me unjustly. Knowing that slavery in any form is wrong, I also know that the person who lives a life according to the opinion of others is a slave. I am not a slave. I have chosen my counsel. I know the difference between right and wrong. I know what is best for the future of my family, and neither misguided opinion nor unjust criticism will alter my course. Those who are ciritical of my goals and dreams simply do not understand the higher purpose to which I have been called. Therefore, their scorn does not affect my attitude or action. I forgive their lack of vision, and I forge ahead. I now kow that criticism is part of the price paid for leaping past mediocrity. I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive myself. For many years, my greatest enemy has been myself. Every mistake, every miscalculation, every stumble I made has been replayed again and again in my mind. Every borken promise, every day wasted, every goal not reached has compounded the disgust I feel for the lack of achievement in my life. My dismay has developed a paralyzing grip. When I disappoint myself, I responnd with inaction and become more disappointed. I realize today that it is impossible to fight an enemy living in my head. By forgiving myself, I erase the doubts, fears, and frustration that have kept my past in the present. From this day forward, my history will cease to control my destiny. I have forgiven myself. My life has just begun. I will forgive even those who do not ask for forgiveness. I will forgive those who criticize me unjustly. I will forgive myself. I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit.


Decision six from the traveler's gift by Andy Andrews. An amazing book! Decision six was/is and probably always will be my favorite. I have to work on it quite a lot. I had it on facebook and just came back across it. Figured I'd share it with all my blog readers. :) I intend to be a great blogger again really soon. Until then!