Not so hot mess

I always say not a lot has been going on. I guess that is because its not a lot to anyone but me. I feel like a lot has been going on, but I know its just me. I've been too stressed and worried to compose a coherent post. I'm still to stressed and worried to throw something decent together, so there is this: I'm so lazy. I have one thing to do for the day and I focus all my energy on that and I don't want to do anything ever again all day. I had an interview at walmart last week. They liked me so  much they gave me my second interview the same day and called the next day to schedule my interview. I missed the call and when I finally got ahold of them the day after they said they were already done with interviews for the day they'd talk to me this week. I called monday and they weren't there. I called tuesday and they said they would call me. So I went to sleep again since it was like 7 AM and they called back an hour later. I missed the call AGAIN. Now I'm waiting to call back today until 7 I stayed up all night so I wouldn't miss calling and they MIGHT be there at eight. I'm so frustrated. I really need this job. I've been hardcore praying. I felt like I had it. I really did but with all the waiting I'm not confident anymore. I really need it so everyone else pray for me too. I'd like to get it so I'd feel like something in my life was right again. I'm so stressed over school. If i hadn't've taken time off when taryn was born and then failed an online class or two when we went camping and I couldn't do my homework and I wasn't so behind I'd be doing my externship this month and graduating next month. I feel so behind. So I'm taking an extra online course this mod. They couldn't've put me in two harder classes to take online. I also don't have the text books so that doesn't help. i feel so stressed and worried. I know I'm supposed to cast all my cares on God and I'm trying to let go of them, but I feel so vulnerable if I don't hold onto the thoughts and try to figure out how to fix things. I guess thats how I feel in control Its unhealthy but at least I don't throw up or cut or anything. I've been in such a weird spiritual place lately. I'm so... hungry? for it, but so not ready to make the changes to allow spirituality back into my life. I feel like the first step to fixing everything wrong right now is to secure this job, then everything will fall into place. I know this is whiny and all jumpy and silly sounding, but I'm tired and stressed, and worried, and I just typed it all out. Even if some of it doesn't make sense. So now I'm off of here to wait until I can call and try to schedule this interview. Pray for me, babies.

My bucket list

I figured since I've been happy, sad, hopeful, extremely optimistic, hateful, and shared a terrible amount of personal information here, this post should be allowed. I've been thinking lately of all the things I want to do in my life. So why not compile a list here? Keep in mind these are in no specific order, and are meant to happen over my lifetime. (I intend to add onto this list)

1. Get married to Jeffrey
2. Start a family. 2-3 kids.
3. Buy a house.
4. Travel all over Europe.

• France
• England
• Poland
• Italy
• Germany

5. See the smithsonian museum.
6. Tour the white house.
7. Visit New york.
8. Visit Jamestown, Virginia.
9. Visit Salem, Massachusetts.
10. Own a VW beetle! I always wanted one. I'd love to at least see my daughter driving one.
11. Stay best friends with my nieces and nephews.
12. Shoot a compound bow.
13. Learn to make sushi.
14. Travel to Greece.
15. Try fencing.
16. Learn to sew.
17. Raise my family in the baptist church.
18. Own one pair of manolo blahniks.
19. Scuba dive.
20. Get back to "high school skinny."
21. See the Grand Canyon.
22. Love my self completely.
23. Make something beautiful and lasting.
24. Get the phonecall that I'm a match for the blood marrow donor list I am on.
25. Go zip-lining!
26. Learn to dance.
27. Be able to laugh at myself.
28. Make my dad proud.
29. Take a skiing lesson.
30. See a volcano.
31. Have a family portrait painted.
32. Spend New Year's in an exotic location.
33. Find a cause, and dedicate myself to it.
34. Drive on the autobahn.
35. Grow and maintain a garden.
36. Ride in a hot air balloon.
37. Eat a fish I've caught.
38. Visit all 50 states. So far I've visited:

• Texas
• Louisiana
• Oaklahoma
• California
• Florida
• Nebraska
• Georgia
• Kansas
• Arkansas
• Missouri 

39. Walk on the Great Wall of China.
40. Swim with dolphins.
41. Have a conversation with a parrot.
42. Practice meditation. At least once or twice.
43. Learn to draw.
44. Build a working piece of furniture.
45. See a man walk on mars.
46. Attend a wine tasting.
47. Take an Alaskan cruise.
48. Try escargot.
49. Learn to golf, so I can play with Jeffrey and Kirk.
50. Go horseback riding more often.
51. Learn a string instrument.
52. Volunteer at a hospital.
53. Fly first class at least once.
54. Fly in a helicopter.
55. Ride on a motorcycle, again.
56. See a show on Broadway.
57. Finish school.
58. Buy my mom a new car.
59. Be fluent in french.
60. Have a library in my home.

How I almost killed my unborn nephew

Just now. It was awful. Jeffrey was switching his Xbox cords over to the big tv, and accidentally broke a picture frame. So I got the vacuum and cleaned up the small pieces of glass that he didn't get out of the carpet. I figured I'd go ahead and vacuum the whole living room while I was at it. So I went to get the sprinkly powder to put everywhere. I was sprinkling and I moved verakai because he was on the floor under a blanket, and he wouldn't move out from under my feet. I said, "go verakai!" and he jumped on the couch and stomped on Shannon's stomach, almost killing Rebel. Poor unborn nephew. I felt so bad that I cried. Shannon was just doubled over clutching her stomach. It was terrible. Its okay now though. She said hes moving and it doesn't really hurt. Verakai is at least fifty pounds and he put all his beagle weight down on her. Have I told you much about our unborn nephew? Well, he's due July 7th! That's my mom's birthday, that was also his mom's (shannon's) due date when Jeffrey's mom was pregnanat with her. Weird huh? I can't wait to meet him. He will be our first nephew on the thibodaux side. His name will be Rebel Malachi Evink. We'll call him Remmy for short though. Thats all the news there for now. Tomorrow is Jade's talent show at school. She's singing Love Story by Taylor Swift. Shes really a great singer for a ten year old. :) I hope she follows her dreams and continues to sing all her life. What kids say they want to be when they grow up is their truest form I believe. Anyway I just mean I hope she follows her dreams and her life turns out the way she wants it to. I wish my life had turned out the way I had thought it would.. but I did think I'd be gorgeous, tiny, and a singer/model/actress/archaeologist. I had big dreams as a child LOL. I've got the next best thing because honestly that dream wasn't really attainable, haha! I think I'm done for tonight, I'm still a little traumatized. Talk to you babies later.

My pen is in a goat

So I was searching bing.com and when I typed my pen is to see what would come up... My pen is in a goat popped up. That was weird to me. But it made me laugh. :)  Sorry that I basically vowed my first born to you guys that I'd be a better blogger and then totally didn't. I guess first come first serve when I have a baby? LOL. I've been kind of busy though, if that excuse isn't too cliche to work. I've been wedding planning. Its all still on the computer though.. It makes me feel like I'm not really doing it, which sucks. I want to talk to everyone about my wedding ALL THE TIME. But the truth is, not much of it is planned, which makes me feel.. irresponsible? Almost like I'm a bad bride? Does that make sense? I'm just not good with details. Thats why I wanted to do something with a package so that they take care of all the vendors and I just say, "OOOH! I WANT IT THAT WAY!!" Why is it that that made me think of the backstreet boys? LOL I'm so random. So as you may know, because of my inability to decide and coordinate all of these details our wedding plans have been a little wayward. Last you guys heard we were DECIDED on a beach wedding at south padre island. I then found a beautiful little vineyard not too far away, that isn't too ridiculously expensive. I would post a link but I know of some facebook friends wedding planning currently too, and I don't want them to book my venue. Is that mean? Oh well, I'm just being honest. This place is too cute, and they have packages like I wanted. Its like this: give us ____ much money, now pick what your flowers look like and your cake and what food you want and make a list of songs. Easy right? Thats the kind of wedding I can plan. That just leaves a wedding dress marriage license and bridesmaid dresses for me to do. Of course If I stop right there it would be to simple though right? Thats perfect this place.. exactly what I need to be able to plan a wedding.... but then I had an idea. I always have an idea and it always means trouble. I thought of this really just about two hours ago. This is what my brain sounded like inside:

I'm so glad that we've found a place that I don't feel stressed just thinking about. It would be really easy to get married there. Its so pretty. I can't think of a prettier place.............................. omg! WE SHOULD TOTALLY GET MARRIED AT THE BAYTOWN NATURE CENTER INSTEAD!!!!!! 

I don't know why I do these things to myself, not to mention poor Jeffrey. I can't wait until we tell his mom about our plans so that I CAN talk about our wedding to everyone ALL THE TIME. I want everyone to be sick of hearing about our wedding. Soooo like I said I have been busy. I was finishing up my online class for the semester. Then It was raylen's sixth birthday on saturday. I can't believe that. Shes so big. She was two years old when I met her. Shes just like me, but smaller, and with better dance moves. So for her birthday, and for harley's upcoming birthday Jeffrey's mom bought a little swingset/playground thing and Jeffrey, his dad and two of his brothers built it and I watched. It was exhausting. I even screwed in two screws with a screwdriver all by myself! I am so proud of Jeffrey.. and all of them, it looks amazing and the girls love it. I also watched Kameron today, and got extremely sunburnt making me so tired. So see, with all of this going on, I think I should be able to keep my baby. Oh wait! Jeffrey and I have also started watching Glee, season 1! And we LOVE IT!! I can't believe we weren't watching it from the beginning!I had other stuff to tell you guys, but I can NOT remember for anything. So I guess thats all, babies!  

Day thirty

A dream for the future. 

I have a few! First of all, see this blog, here. When we accomplish that, or the closest rational option to that, I'd like to have a family of our own. :) I am definitely okay with waiting for that though. :)

It's been fun, but I'm glad this 30 day thing is over, it's hard to update everyday. I hope you blog buddies accept the challenge too! 

Day twenty-nine

Hopes, Dreams, & plans for the next 365!

Really all I want is to become Jennifer June Thibodaux. That and finish school. I'd also really enjoy starting a career. I don't aim for much, I just want to wrap up everything I'm "supposed" to do in my twenties. :) 

Day twenty-eight

What's in my purse. 

My keys! (These aren't mine, obviously)

Loose Change.

Hand Sanitizer. 

Make up  bag.

My beloved Ipod Touch.

My wallet. This is the closet picture I could find to mine. Its just like this but hingey!

Normally there would be a cellphone, but I'm broke as a joke.